During worship I was reminded of the Philippines and how humbling it was to worship in the small churches there. Small, but full of spirit. Blended fellowship is simple, but inviting. Proof again that big is not always better. When you have a room full of people completely sold out for Jesus, singing their hearts out with abandon it is truly a glimpse into the heavenlies and what is to come. No one can take that beauty away. Even as I worshiped I could feel my body resist. The pain and nausea increasing the more I sang to Jesus and making me want to collapse onto the floor. Of course. The enemy is threatened beyond all belief. Oh, but my spirit would not relent. Lord, you are bringing me back to humble beginnings. The bare bones. Before ministry and Christianese and ideas from my own head. Back to just me and you. We got a little gift bag for being first time visitors. Inside Mylie's bag was a pink bracelet. It simply says "Faith." I knew somehow it was for me. Sure enough it doesn't fit Mylie and she gave it to me. FAITH. A word thrown around, but it is actually a powerful thing to claim. FAITH. Roll it around on your tongue. Do you have it? I pray everyday that the light of my faith will not dim. It is a battle. When the pain threatens to engulf me I remember WHO I belong to and FAITH whispers to my heart. Faith is Jesus. So I am blessed beyond everything by this sweet, pink bracelet that I will wear on my wrist to remind me to look UP always, and claim faith.
At the end of the service the Pastor asked those who wanted to be filled fresh with the Holy Spirit to come up and He would anoint their heads with oil. I wasn't sure if I should go up, but I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me: "This is your symbol to me that you trust me with your body. This is between me and you. Your obedience to show me that you love me and trust me and will not hold back from me in any area of your life." So I went up and surrendered. It meant nothing to anyone else, but for me and God it was an expression of adoration and full submission. I repented of all sins- including rebellion and fear. Today is a new day, and MY GOD has shown me His desire for our love relationship to go deeper than it has ever been.
Thank you, Abba.
