A sweet friend sent me this amazing read. A lot of the information is affirmative of what my doctor has said, so that's pretty awesome that it correlates. I'm eager to resume the diet I started back in March to help manage fibromyalgia and to get my immune system stronger. I was really stressed before the move and when I arrived here I kind of went on a bender with all things sugar (except for my beloved Snickers, of which I have gone without for 6 and a half months) as my body collapsed and finally all of the pain (thought forgotten while on the road) came crashing all at once as the adrenaline fueling faux energy let out like a deflating air mattress.

On another note I did go for 2 short walks last week. I cannot recall if I wrote that in a previous post. I'm all over the place right now. Tired after a day of grocery shopping. I was wheeling by an old man today in the motorized cart when he leaned over, put his hand on top of mine, and said, "don't get too wild on that thing." It was said so sweetly that it instantly made the day brighter. I like talking to random strangers.

I've been indulging in television lately, but at the same time I feel more connected to Abba then I have in awhile. There is something about being alone in the soul for a season that really opens up the heart to be in pursuit of Jesus. I find Him drawing me unto Himself at all times no matter what task I may be doing. I have missed that. I think I may be coming around a corner with this dark night of my soul. It's still a process and my outlook about my life changes with the amount of pain I am in, but I don't feel that dreariness that clung to me every second in the bleakest times.

I am very blessed. I have food to eat every day and a place to rest at night. I have had a lot of pain, yet I have also had equal parts happiness for 31 years here on earth. I know much and I know little. I love that life is constantly an opportunity to grow, to change, to expand who you really are. People are trite when they say "each day is a gift." It really is a gift. There is wonder to be found in everything that surrounds us. I love that a relationship with Jesus is never finished and that every time I think I have reached the epitome of being in communion with Him, He brings me to a deeper level of Himself that I didn't know existed. It is the most exciting thing to feel God.

I pray I never stop asking for more. That I would never get puffed up on spiritual fat. I pray that I would seek the simplicity and delight of simply drawing onto the character and mercy of Jesus. And when I fail I pray I would repent, get back up, and keep pressing in.

My life is not about me and my comforts. My life is about Jesus and what He wants to accomplish through me during my life span. I wait for the next season, Lord. I feel it coming... a whisper in the breathings of each new day.

I wait.