Eyes closed.
Twitches in the right leg.
Fatigue bearing down hard... and then harder still.
Pain everywhere, not taking a chance on me ignoring the warning signals this time.
I am overjoyed at the fact that I have been able to exercise daily (with one day of a break) these last two weeks. It has felt good physically and emotionally, and now I know I can do it again. That makes this gigantic flare worth it, and I must be honest and say I am in a hurricane of a flare.
To coin Britney Spears, "oops! I did it again." I thought I was going to outsmart Fibro. It's easy to do. We're so desperate to not have pain, not have fatigue that we often times start to believe that it's gone. My energy levels were up, and though my pain was pushing, I ignored it and kept at it. Not just exercise, but going on several outings versus my one or two a month. And now I feel it everywhere. Absolutely everywhere.
There is no shortage of pain... stabbing, unmerciless pain. Fatigue wrapping it's rubber band around my eyes and head and entire being. I am in misery physically. I ignored the warning yellow lights these last few days and now it's a complete red. And yet I feel encouraged....
Because I DID IT! I exercised. And I will again.
Encouraged because I am in a flare but I still have my positive outlook. That has taken three years to cultivate! It's a victory of epic proportions for me. I am emotionally balanced even while my body is freaking it's freak.
I am so grateful for that. Without the emotional balance, all that is left is sad, angry, lonely feelings.
I have hit my Fibro limit for right now, but my spirit soars...
And that makes everything worth it.
