So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

There are some days where I feel like giving up. A couple of days ago I felt like that Giving up in the sense that I am so tired of this disease that I just want to stop coping with it and let it overtake me. It comes fewer times now. Now that I've started getting treatment and was feeling some slight improvement, but after it came back with more then the usual flare I was really mad. I was pissed actually. I felt so bad that I ate chocolate after almost 2 weeks without. The next day I paid the price.

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I'm feeling good in spirit. The sun is shining outside and I am sitting on my papasan chair, and actually having a peaceful morning. I don't feel good. I am weak in my limbs and I feel like throwing up but I also feel calm again. I don't like when my hopes get raised only to fall when the next flare hits.

I am strong. And if YOU are reading this and you want to attack me, then go ahead. I've decided I'm done with you. You back/front/side stabbed me, you lied about me, and you continue your reign of manipulation. You can spin as many tales as you want but you and I know the truth.

God knows the truth.

I pray that whatever has made you this diabolical will break off of you. That Jesus sweeps over you and that you will repent of what you've done. I feel sorry for you. There must be a lot of hate and hurt in there to make you go so far.

As for me, I'm off to enjoy the sunshine.