perseverance: Steady persistence in adhering to a course of action, a belief, or a purpose; steadfastness.
Sweet Lorraine, I am in agony! My eyes are both infected or have a virus or whatever it is that the doctor can't even explain. The drops are doing nothing to remove the red, itchy, oozing. I am also having flu symptoms and last night sinus drainage, headache, and all decided to come to the party uninvited. My head is on fire, eyes watering and stabbing, and making it impossible to read, type, watch a movie, anything. I am reminded again of Job and all he endured as satan sifted him.
Lord, what can I be doing right now to bring about YOUR glory while I am suffering?
I have asked this over and over and over as each ailment came and went, and now as this triple dose eye, sinus, flu thing has gripped me in it's huge fists I ask again.... Lord, what would you have me do?
How can I not be a complainer and instead find someway to see this as a positive thing? I have made notice of my speech lately... whether in response to someone at the grocery sore asking how I am doing... or with those closest to me. I have become lethargic and apathetic... or downright negative in my response. Where is the ability to push through, look UP, and not focus on the temporary that I clung to like a child all these months?
Have I lost it?
I say no. The Holy Spirit dwells in me and therefore I have access 24;7 to a God who knows my every moment and who most definitely feels my absolute pain. I have asked Him while weeping if He has forgotten me, knowing already that He hasn't. Surely, surely I must be heading to some kind of even ground. Definitely He hears my every prayer- might it be with words or with mere groans of anguish.
I tell myself that at least I have clothing, shelter, food in my belly. I am not a victim. I am a fighter. I am one of God's precious children. It's hard to think positively when I feel so broken again. So I will turn again to familiar scriptures.
Knowing Jesus, being in constant prayer- not religious, orchestrated, and tedious but natural, conversation throughout my day with my Savior- is THE only way I have made it this far. I would have given up long ago if I did not know 100% that I love and know a God who is more then able to carry me through this ordeal. And by ordeal I mean ALL of it. Every last hurting drop. I close my swollen eyes and envision a man about my age who sweat blood and shed tears for a fallen planet that He would die atoning for. I think of my Jesus striped bare and bloody by the hands of people who would kill Him. I think of His sacrifice and His love for all of humanity. That He is selfless even to this day, that He is alive in us.... and I realize I CAN do this. I will do this. I am equipped with ONE who is so much stronger then I. Impossible? NO.
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.
2 Cor. 4:17
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
2 Cor. 4:10
The LORD will keep you free from every disease. He will not inflict on you the horrible diseases you knew in Egypt, but he will inflict them on all who hate you.
Deut. 7:15
This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:
“He took up our infirmities
and bore our diseases."
Matthew 8:17
I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done.
Psalm 118:17
Exodus 15:26
He said, "If you listen carefully to the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, who heals you."
Exodus 23:25
Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you.
Psalm 103:3
Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits--who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases.
Psalm 107:20
He sent forth his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Jeremiah 30:17
But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the LORD, `because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.'
Matthew 8:2-3
A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.
Matthew 21:21
Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, `Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done.
Mark 11:23-24
"I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, `Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 16:17-18
And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."
John 10:10
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Ephesians 6:10-17
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Philippians 2:13
...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
II Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
Hebrews 10:23
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
I Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
As I move through this continuing trial I am amazed at how much I am learning and how much I am re-learning! It's a bear of a time, but I believe in the sweetness of leaving this earthly tent and going home to Jesus someday. I live my life to honor Him and although my ego or my flesh may interrupt and get in the way I must always bring it back before the cross and surrender. I am imperfect and human but I am also a princess warrior and I am never letting go of my identity in Christ.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139
One of my very favorite quotes is something I am also reflecting on as I ponder beauty and what beauty is in the Lord:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Nelson Mandela, 1994
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Psalm 45:11
Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
honor him, for he is your lord.
THAT means that NO matter what- how we look, act, dress... whether we are sick with bulgy eyes or Cancer or whatever WE are made in His image and are pleasing in His sight! What a glorious wonder that is! WE are His creation to be delighted in! Oh, doesn't that just make your heart dance?!
1 Peter 3:3-4
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
“You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.”
“Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective.”
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
“It sometimes happens that a woman is handsomer at twenty-nine than she was ten years before.”
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
“Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.”
