“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

Isaiah 58:6-12

Lord,
Thank you for affording me the opportunity to go on a walk yesterday. Being able to sit in stillness worshiping you next to a field full of trees, plants, flowers, butterflies, a lizard, numerous insects, and the blue sky overhead was such a pleasure. And it was there that you ignited that spark which drew me here to this place.

Revival.

Not just contained in a building, but in this neighborhood. In Pikeville. In Goldsboro. Though I am full of faults you are equipping me to continue forward. You have blessed my life richly with amazing trainers in the faith. From pastors to small group leaders to children and all else in-between. This move was FOR me, but it is primarily about what you would do through me while I am here. There are some things you want to transform in this town. A town I once arrogantly proclaimed I would not move to.

I sat in my quarantined, spirit-filled church and felt GLAD that I was there and not somewhere else.

And now, here I sit, in love with where you have called me to be. Yes, for healing. Yes, for restoration. But ultimately it's because you, oh God, have a heart for ALL people and your longing to draw others to you is raging like wildfire through my very bone and marrow.

Thank you for the lessons in humility this past week. I am often so very quick to speak. I steamroll ahead when I should be still. Thank you for breaking me sweetly, Jesus. Thank you for the privilege of praying and worshiping over my new neighborhood. I claim this atmosphere as Yours, oh Lord. Rain down and breathe a fresh fragrance over us.

Thank you for the ability to go to church this morning. Thank you for answering my fevered prayer to make it apparent that this church is where you would have me learn and grow and serve. I pray I would be open to you, Lord. Whatever you want to do, whatever your heartbeat is for those in this community, let my heart also be burdened and open to receive all that you have for us. Let me have a teachable spirit and let me also use the gifts you've entrusted to me for the benefit of your Kingdom.

I have missed ministry. I have missed Bible studies. Being sick has not granted the privilege to fellowship as I used to. I thank you for the deep, deep bonds rooted in your blood alone, that transcend distance. Thank you for faithful prayer warriors who have come alongside me and who I can also stand behind. Thank you for the freedom to pray out loud or read my Bible in public. Please forgive me for taking those things for granted, when in other countries brothers and sisters in the faith are being killed for spreading the gospel.

You are sparking my heart anew with the intensity and beauty of who You are, God. My flesh is persistent and this morning I sat in church and had visions of working in youth ministry again, but right now that is not the season you have me in. Let me be obedient to You and pay no heed to the impatience of my flesh. There is healing you are doing. There is so much growth to be had. I KNOW you have called me into a season of resting in you. We both know I am not so good at that. This is quite the challenge. To be still. My mind and body seem to operate on two different schedules. Help me to be still before you. Bring me back to the simplicity and wonder of who you are, Jesus.

Being at church today reminded me of when I first came to know You. The excitement, the desire to throw all of oneself into this new relationship. Thank you that you reignite hearts on a consistent basis. I can see now how the mega church experience that was so disheartening this past year and all of my turmoil over that heartbreak was leading me to this place of simplicity. Just me and you and what you want to do, Lord. I was getting so repelled by the western church experience. Burnt out. Done. Going to the Philippines forever stripped me of that desire of what I saw displayed in certain Christian arenas. Thank you for bringing me closer to your heart.

This last spiritual season was so very dark and brittle, and yet, you have shown me SO much Abba. You continue to amaze me with your love for me. You take my shame, my brokenness, my fears and failures and you use me anyway.

How amazing!

Thank you for confirming today all of what you have been whispering to my heart. I hear you. You spoke loud and clear through the pastor today: "you are among these people that are going to change the community."

I think as a believer, after a certain amount of years, it's easy to not be excited at all of the things You are doing anymore. I feel like I am falling in love again! You are affirming in scripture, at church, in devotionals, in the secret place... that You want me to start back at the basics of knowing You.

That's it.

No fantastic new read by a Christian author.

No fancy songs.

No fancy leadership status.

No obligations.

No tricks.

Just You.

I am a very lucky woman.



I am so thankful to you, Abba, for what you are purging out of me with these illnesses. You are so good to me.

I have felt inadequate with fibromyalgia.

I have felt angry.

I have felt inefficient because I am not my "old self."

I have condemned myself and others in my pain.

I have felt unusable.

All of those are lies from the enemy, for where I am weak, You are strong.

Again and again I turn to 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it's all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Wow!!!

Just wow!