I usually feel like I must look a mess because I constantly feel exhausted and sick. I'm always in pain. The levels vary, some days are tolerable, some days are absolutely miserable, and others are actually darn good. It's a lottery everyday. I don't know what is going to be going on with my body until I wake up.
Lately I have been having migraines again, night sweats (waking up soaked through my nightgown), and radiating pain everywhere. Last night back spasms came to play and the migraine became a jaw, neck, back of the head, temple, and everywhere on the left side of the head pain. My eyes began to water and I felt oh so miserable. I took a couple of Benadryls and called it a night.
Enter today: I woke up super exhausted. That's usually the case, but some days are more severe then others. It was such a lovely day out. The sun was shining and the breeze was soft. I decided to go on a walk.
The picture above (has been removed) displays none of the pain in my body. Not at all. It surprises me. I can see why people are confused when I say how I feel. It really is invisible. This picture doesn't show how slow I walked and how it felt like climbing Mt. Everest (or what I imagine it to feel like), it doesn't show how I shooed Aaron on ahead because he has a normal pace and I have a slow one and how he was already around the block before I got to halfway. ;)And it most certainly does not display how every muscle in my body is on fire now just from taking a short walk. A walk I took for granted years ago.
The picture above makes me realize how strong I really am. How strong ALL of us fighting sickness are. No one can see our pain, but we sure as heck feel it.
I sat in the garage a bit ago and felt the absolute contentment of the warm, still air. I can't wait for summer. It is strange to say. I've always been a cold weather girl. I love the rain, the snow, the chilly nights. But Fibro likes the warmth way better, and I'm looking forward to that.
Now it's time to watch X-Men: First Class.
Have a good night, my lovelies.
