Oh Yeah, I Have Fibromyalgia....

There is so much that could be said about my trip. It was a marvelous time with friends and family and especially with that sweet child that holds my heart.
Some highlights:
Spraining my bum ankle the day after I arrived.
Pain medication as a blessing which surely got me through the trip.
Ample time with my best little.
The cherry choking incident.
Eating foods only available there.
Friends and family.
Watching M's graduation from kindergarten.
Sleeping on the most comfortable bed with the most precious sheets ever.
Pretending to be dolphins with M.
Making amends.
Time with my lifer besties.
An unexpected overnight stay at the Hilton in Houston when we missed our connecting flight. They lost our bags too, with our meds, but they were returned.
M sobbing with her arm outstretched to me as she was carried away the night I left. Her words: "it's like our hearts are broken when we are apart and when we are together again we are complete."
M reading to me before bed!
Caring as ever, this sweetheart 5 year old made sure my sprained ankle was elevated and stood up for me like a mama bear when she thought my mom was laughing at me. "You're making fun of Auntie Janet because she has Fibromyalgia!"
The rudeness I experienced when sharing that I am disabled. One woman gave me an up and down dirty look on the plane and then gave me the biggest stink eye as I was being wheeled to baggage. Another woman at a flower shop snorted when I told her I am disabled and said, "yeah, you sure look like it." Sarcastic much? Yes, ignorance is alive. It's sad and makes me remember how much more I have to advocate for ALL invisible illnesses.
Making up songs and praying with Lits like we used to.
Being with my mom.
Not having ANY freak outs but for 1 Panic attack. Hooray!This is a HUGE victory!!!
God's favor evident the whole time, marked by our first flight where a child sat in the middle seat between me and my mom. Oh how Abba knows my heart! Me and the kid bonded over Transformers and gum. On the flight home we sat next to a nine year old boy flying alone to Mexico.
Feeling the crisp CA air and remembering where my roots are.
Bonding with Simmy. I love that girl.
Maddie and April Rose.
So much more!
I am beyond exhausted. In a way it was as if I took a "vacation" from Fibromyalgia. Oh, not really. It never goes away, but the joy of being with M and knowing it was going to go by in a flash mixed with adrenaline propelled me and I was more active then I had been in almost a year. Only for her though.
I even rode some rides at a mini carnival. Me and my best girl. Don't ask me how I did it because I could not tell you.
LOVE.
That was it. What pushed me forward when my bones grew weary and my insides begged to stop. My scalp hurt and stabbed and once I stopped moving it felt like my bones and muscles were all on absolute fire from the inside out, like a giant sunburn on the inside mixed with grinding bones and stabbing everywhere.
But I did it! And I am do thrilled and happy because life is NOT impossible and I kept my head. God, you are so good.
My heart is recovering. It is fragmented again, separated from M once more. Readjusting to this Fibromyalgia life is hard and I am feeling sucky about it. Trapped again. But I will face it and go forward. That is the only direction to go. My eyes sag and my body begs for rest. No more pretending to be a normal.
I am back to reality.
If you happen to peruse older posts and the photos do not show it is because I deleted them. A blog that I read regularly shared how someone stole her photos and made a fake Facebook profile with a different name but with the blogger, her baby girl and her husband's photos. Creeptastic.
Goodnight for now.

P.S. I was denied the appeal for SSI and Medicaid and now need to get a lawyer and appeal again. Please be praying. And I finally get to see a doctor or nurse or someone after almost a year without medical treatment! Hooray! It's a truck that comes by and provides services for those of us with no income. I need current thyroid tests and glucose, as well as a refill for heart medication and pain meds. PLEASE Abba!