Quick Update:
-I have finally been able to see a doctor (well nurse, but hey, it's something!) after almost a year being untreated on a regular basis. Got some current blood work done, prescriptions refilled, started on a new anti anxiety medication called Buspar which basically just made me angry and depressed like the Xanax did. I don't need an anti anxiety med as the anxiety has subsided greatly in recent months. I also got a referral to a Rheumatologist but that will cost a bit. I was blessed beyond measure to see a nurse twice for free through the county. It took months to get an appointment as they had told me that they were not accepting new patients before. I left a note for someone at the YMCA for a possible scholarship so I can use their pool for exercise. I haven't heard back on that yet. Got Provera to induce my menses since it has been 9 months without! Had a pap done right than also which was a HUGE blessing!
-My uncle was living with us for a month after he got into a bad car accident. He has since returned to his home and we are resuming normal schedule here.
-The weather has been fun and incredible. The warmth massaging sore muscles and the rain always my absolute favorite. :)
-I fell off the wagon with sugar. It happened during my California trip. As those who deal with candida know so well, one taste of sugar and it's all over. Suddenly sugar is ALL you want, even when you are not hungry, even when it feels like you will be sick from all you've eaten.... the candida takes over and creates the NEED to be consuming sugar and starches until your belly feels like it will literally explode. It's horrid. Truly. So now I was able to get a refill on Nystatin and start over. I feel like I have been given a second chance with this medication and I don't want to fall off course. I honestly do feel better when I am eating greens and the healthy stuff. It takes us Fibro warriors out of the hibernation (as said by the Fibro clinic) we are in with our sickness. Our bodies shut down with all of the processed foods and whatnot, but when we eat what is leafy and from the earth, we start to feel a bit better. This is a CONSTANT challenge. When you never feel good, EVER, you don't want to worry about diet. Heck no! You want comfort food and it's a mad cycle that repeats. It takes diligence and to be 100% real, Fibro is not exactly a convenient illness. ;)
-Been having sporadic nightmares again. I haven't had them as bad as I used to years ago, but last night was by far one of the worst. I don't want to glorify it, so I won't talk about it, but I am clinging to some familiar verses about sleeping in safety. The enemy is prowling around, trying to get in at me through old, used tactics, and I can recognize his attempts. He is so stupid that way. Aim for the same places he has hit at us before. Thankful for a big God who is over the darkness that comes through demonic movie previews, tasteless reads, and imagination run wild.
-Mylie's 6th birthday is next week. This will be the first time since she has been born that I will not be with her on her actual birthday, and at her birthday party. We are a bit bummed about that, she and I, but being able to Facetime, Tango, and talk regularly helps. I plan to get a cupcake and candle and have her pretend to blow it out (via Tango) after we sing Happy Birthday!
-Pain medication is always my last resort. Since leaving California last August I haven't had a prescription for pain meds until now. I prefer to take them only when necessary, as they create nausea and headaches. I'm so super sensitive to them which is frustrating. I REFUSE to try Lyrica or Cymbalta or any of that. I have some friends who do fine on it, and others who have horrific experiences. For me, because I am so hyper sensitive to medications, I would prefer to stay as natural as possible. There are medications I do need to take, but I try to mess around with what is necessary.... that is, those I feel make a difference in my quality of living and those that can be dumped. Lyrica has too many side effects as well as the potential to create thoughts of suicide and depression. And although I toyed with the idea of trying anti-depressants, I just don't need them. I'm NOT depressed. As stated by a doctor and as felt by ME. I have depressed moments, but I think that is life and I know that with illness, it will come around a time or two or five, but for me personally, I would rather stay off of anti-depressants for now. I am glad that those medications do exist for those who can handle them and who actually benefit from them. There should be no shame whatsoever in medicating when it is needed.
-I've been re-watching Lost and I love it just the same as I used to, if not more! Good to be back on the island. ;)
That's it for now.
xoxo
