As I type this I am in agony. Okay, okay, those of us with chronic pain are near the breaking point almost everyday, but sometimes there are a series of days where it feels like torture.
About a month ago I started getting restless legs syndrome REALLY bad. It felt even worse then Fibromyalgia and that is saying A LOT. It's a part of the cocktail we inherit when we deal with this disease, but I had never experienced it to that level before. Every time I started to drift off to sleep.... TUG! BURN! It felt like my bones were in dire need of being stretched and pulled. Needless to say, I did not get any sleep. Then it started in my arms as well. There were brief interludes (usually in the very early hours of the day) where it seemed to calm down and I could catch a few hours of slumber, but eventually I started feeling the ache all day instead of just bedtime. Bedtime is by far the worst, but to feel the aching and cramping throughout the whole day was just insane. I couldn't sit Indian style, couldn't put any strain on them at all or the restlessness would respond straightaway.
I tried home remedies. Heating pads, over the counter medications, walking around the house, stretching.... but nothing was helping. After speaking with a pharmacist I realized I would probably need medication for this.
Yesterday I started Gabapentin. This medication was first prescribed to me in 2010 but I never took it. It is a cousin to Lyrica, which I just don't want to take. Because I am super sensitive to medications and tend to get emotional, depressed, and full of rage I just do not want to go through that ever again. However, the restless legs is so severe in a completely different way than Fibromyalgia and so I decided to give it a try. I'm not too excited about it. I already take dozens of pills throughout the day and adding yet another one is disappointing, but alas, I must do what needs to be done.
In addition I was also put on an antibiotic for an infection and after some lengthy discussion, my pain medication was refilled. Now, I can do without it but it DOES help. It's so frustrating because when we as patients, find out what medications work for us, they usually won't be prescribed because the doctors don't want us to be addicts. WE ARE NOT ADDICTS. If you have chronic pain, you benefit from pain medication. Isn't that what it's made for?! People who have pain do not become addicted. It has been studied and written about. I do not understand why we have to argue to be taken seriously. It's not some joy ride to pop pills and when we take a pain pill it's so that we can actually, you know, LIVE for a little bit, without feeling like we are dying.So last month was the first time in years that I was prescribed pain medication. I prefer what is natural, but as time goes on, I realize that maybe I have to be more open to what modern medicine has to offer.
Today I am in misery. My arms are hurting something fierce. I've had this issue before but never to this caliber. And in the past, whenever I had pain in my arms, it would disappear and play peek-a-boo just like the pain everywhere else. I had attributed this pain to the restless legs. I had read that it could spread to the arms and it seemed that is what had happened. Now I am not so sure. I just started the Gabapentin last night but already I feel relief in my legs. Like I said, I am super sensitive to medications. But my arms.... oh my gosh! They are hurting so bad. I couldn't open a package of crackers, they hurt when they are still, and they are cramping so very bad as I type this right now. It feels like someone is pulling them off of my body or burying them in bricks and cement. IT HURTS!
To add to that, I am experiencing supreme nausea. I think it is from the antibiotic, and it is purely awful.
I forced myself to go outside today and I made it to the next door neighbors mailbox before I had to come back inside. The breeze felt so good and I wanted to keep going, but my body has other plans for the day.
