Today, I can finally fit into a tee shirt I ordered in 2011. Because of the candida gut, it was way too tight, and now that the inches have been peeling off with feverish intensity, many clothes I haven't worn in years are now becoming available to wear! It sounds superficial, but it is a huge accomplishment! It means that the candida is becoming managed and hopefully eradicated, and that means one less health issue compromising my immune system. Plus, let's just get real: it feels awesome to lose weight. ;)
When I got to the worst point of this illness, my quality of living was about 10%. I barely struggled though each day, taking care of Mylie and trying to do basic things for myself. That went to about 20% after I moved to NC and started to really face the stages of grief, and learn how to rest without guilt and say no to most activities. I had seasons where I could ride my bike regularly, or walk around the block, but mostly I was still majorly just trying to endure every day. Now, after a mere 4 months of juicing, my quality of living has gone to about 50%! This gives me GREAT hope. I very obviously cannot control my illness. There are some days where the pain and fatigue are at screeching monkey levels, and I must pay heed to that, however, I am quite excited that so much has progressed when it comes to going out and doing simple errands, recovering faster after engaging in activities, and the weight loss.
Lately I have been struggling with insomnia and migraines, but last night I actually slept for hours, only waking up once versus every hour, and having NO night sweats! Getting adequate sleep is so marvelous and doesn't always happen, so I feel incredibly grateful today.
God has been so gracious to me. There is one severe stress trigger that I have identified in recent weeks, and I am doing my very best to limit my exposure to it. It's not always easy, but I am so determined to protect my mind and body, and keep on working towards my wellness.
I always say this, and it's because I feel it is necessary: If you are reading this blog for the first time, or if you have for awhile now, I want to state emphatically: there is NO cure. There is no quick fix. There is no special thing that I am doing that puts me above everyone else suffering from Fibromyalgia. There is only the desire to have a functional lifestyle, the urgent prayers whispered to Jesus, the drive to manage MY body the best that I can. I advocate juicing, but I don't claim that it has made me 100% better. I advocate exercise, but it's not always possible. I advocate eliminating stress. I advocate allowing ourselves to feel- really feel. The good stuff, but the bad stuff too. There's a lot of gold in the bad stuff. I advocate researching Fibromyalgia for ourselves and not trusting every single thing we read. This is a very personal illness, and as we have all read before, there is no one size fits all tactic to start living well again. Many times it feels like banging our heads against a wall, and discouragement can swallow us like a whale.
So, today, I am thankful for sleep. I am happy that it's my birth month, and I am pleased as punch that life only gets more beautiful as each day passes.
I wish this for you- whoever you are. May your journey be beautiful, even when it feels dry and hopeless.
I'm living proof that there is always another good day around the corner.
<3
