It's almost been a year of juicing once a day, and while it hasn't been a cure, it has been the number one "medication" that has helped me have a more managed life.
Obviously I'm still sick. It's NOT a cure. There is no special pill or potion. Fibromyalgia IS real and it has a mind of its own. That said, juicing has aided in massive weight loss, killing off Candida, quicker recovery when in a flare, and it tastes great- which is just an added bonus.
Seriously, seriously. Even though I still take supplements and the necessary prescriptions, even though I cannot exercise regularly, and even though I still have majorly bad days fatigue wise and pain wise- juicing gave me refreshed hope last December and it has helped my body in so many glorious ways.
I used to crave sugar so bad (Candida and all) like a feen, and I never thought I would be able to let it go, but although I've had a couple of slips this past year, I've mainly stopped consuming any unhealthy sugars. It makes a world of difference! At the Fibro clinic back in 2011, the doctor told me I needed to get it in my head that sugar is THE enemy of Fibromyalgia. He was right.
I still have days where I can barely move, when I can't lift a carton of milk, when I'm so grumpy from exhaustion and pain unrelenting... But now I can also do things I never ever thought I would be able to do regularly again...
Most days (excluding high pressure flare days, depending on external factors: weather, stress, special events, etc.) I am able to juice, wash dishes, take a shower without too much trouble (except on really horrible fatigue days... Then it still is one of the hardest tasks ever.), take out the trash and do other things around the house.
I can do laundry, vacuum, and go out more than once a month. I never thought that would happen! I look back and I can't believe there was once a time when I could only make it out once a month (if that!).
I feel really grateful.
5 years ago I was in a blind panic. Newly sick and feeling like I was slowly losing my mind, no idea of what to do, doctor after doctor dismissing me, other smaller diagnosis' popping up, but never THE diagnosis...
My heart hurts for those just now discovering the Fibro beast in their lives. I wish I could hug you, tell you it will get better- not physically but emotionally. I wish I could tell you that you will find strength, but you may have to go through anger and depression first. You will feel guilty. You will have friends and family who criticize you and assume you aren't proactive about your own health. You will cry. You will maybe want to die sometimes.
But here's the thing... Hold on, babe. Hold on.
Dig on the Internet. Research our illness. You will come to be more educated about it then most doctors you will ever see.
Find an online support group. A small place where you can be real and be heard and be uplifted.
Find the small beads of happiness in every day. They are there, my friend.
You won't always feel like looking for them, but hey, hold on- see that small child at Kmart who smiles at you real big? See the sky beaming over you? Those are precious gifts in a dark world of sickness and isolation.
Learn to say no. I know, I know. That part is especially painful. I am a recovering type A, always say yes, people pleaser myself. But I promise: NO is a wonderful word and should be used fluently.
Develop boundaries. Massive ones. Eliminate toxic people from your sphere of influence.
When someone gives you a guilt trip because you can't make it to church every week, smile at them. They have no idea what they are talking about. They don't know how ignorant they sound and they don't know how much you miss your old life & how long it took you to accept yourself as you are now. They don't understand that in their judgment of you for not going to a building every week, they are showing you exactly who Jesus is not. Seek Him when you feel like hiding away. He is there. Always. Shout out your pain and plug into prayer, especially when you don't feel like it. Watch sermons online. Every day if you want to. It's a wonderful use of time and really promotes positivity and hope. Spend time in the presence of Jesus. He is the ultimate Comforter. You can vent to your friends, your spouse, your dog... But Jesus is the only one who can handle you at your very worst and He is the only one who can truly understand your pain.
Take naps. Rest whenever you can. Utilize ear plugs. Make your heating pad your very best friend. Most of all, dear one, keep loving. Keep trying. Keep going. You are making strides even if no one else on earth sees it.
It's going to hurt, lovely. When so-called friends stop talking to you, when they gossip behind your back, when you slowly drift away from the normal way of life... You will miss it, you will ache for it, you will feel like you live alone in a bubble of confusion and torment and sickness... You will greatly miss yourself.
But you are not alone. Not ever. There are so many of us out here. We are sick, we are sad sometimes, we feel like we are going to break and sometimes we don't even care if we do because is so damn hard just trying to survive.
Just try, try, try to remember that when it is as dark as it could possibly be, a little light will come in.
Grab it! Grab it!
It will bring you to the next moment, and suddenly it'll be 5 years later and you'll look back and wonder how you ever made it through.
And you'll be full of gratitude and amazement.
You will have learned (for the most part) to accept yourself with limitations. You will still grieve sometimes, but a little less. You will figure out that in some way, sickness has made you a better version of yourself. Once we strip off our titles and our accomplishments, once we are left to the bare bones of ourselves- we find out just how beautiful a soul can really be.
You can do it.
I know you can.
