This weekend has been... chill. That's the best word I can think of. I have done nothing but watch horrible television and veg. Okay, that's not entirely true. I still did dishes, laundry, and took care of Mylie but for just a little bit less then 24 hours I actually rested for once and it was glorious.
I spent an extended amount of time with Jesus which is always the best way to spend my time. It's been sunny and feeling Spring like (at least in the day) which means that I have not felt so severely freezing and the fibro seems to calm down in mild temperatures. It flares in cold and also in extreme heat like the Summer. I am eager for Spring and all the gentle warmth it brings. I am also looking forward to Easter. I love going to Target and seeing all of the yellows and pastels. All of the delicious
candy I can no longer eat, but looks so tasty on the shelves. Especially Cadbury eggs. Favorite! I love Easter a lot. It celebrates my Jesus dying on the cross, being buried, and then RISING so that we could have eternal life. It is up there with Christmas in my opinion. Maybe even more awesome.
I still feel horrendous. Last night it felt like both of my feet were swollen 5 times their normal amount. They hurt and ached so bad as if I had walked everyday for a month at Disneyland. It was bad, bad, bad. Also the nausea persists and I am still having issues in my personal area. I am thinking of going to the ER this week sometime vs. waiting to see the ob/gyn at the clinic next month. I am not keen on waiting another few weeks since I have had numerous ailments in the last month. I am particularly concerned about when I had the PID. I want to get current ultrasounds and tests to see if there was any damage done to my uterus, fallopian tubes, and all that. I am growing increasingly worried that I may not be able to bear children. I've already had a miscarriage and now I have had all of these issues. I am praying about it A LOT and trusting that even a bad doctor's report does not mean my God cannot heal my womb.
Which leads me to my other bit of good news this weekend. Thank you to those who were praying for my food stamps and CMSP to go through. They did! This woman from the benefits action center called me on Thursday and said she felt bad and was going to process me right away. She asked me to fax some paperwork (Thanks Aaron!)and by Saturday morning I had food stamps again. :) I didn't know CMSP was going to go through too. It was my understanding that there was more to do as far as that was concerned. I want to get my prescriptions and make appointments in case they deactivate it again for some reason.
It's been highly pleasant this weekend. I have had the apartment to myself (aside from Mylie) and I have been able to go outside into the delicious sunshine. It makes such a difference. A verse I am clinging to is Psalm 91(particularly these verses):
You who sit down in the High God's presence, spend the night in Shaddai's shadow,
Say this: "God, you're my refuge.
I trust in you and I'm safe!"
That's right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
under them you're perfectly safe;
his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Also these:
Psalm 63:2-4
I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
Psalm 90:12-17
Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! Come back, God - how long do we have to wait? - and treat your servants with kindness for a change. Surprise us with love at daybreak; then we'll skip and dance all the day long. Make up for the bad times with some good times; we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime. Let your servants see what you're best at - the ways you rule and bless your children. And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us, confirming the work that we do. Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!
That's been life these past couple of days. Tomorrow Maddison turns 16! Holy bananas how did she got from 11 to 16 in the blink of an eye?! I am going to sleep at like 8pm tonight (not really but still really early) so that I can come out of hiding tomorrow for a few hours of food and Borders to celebrate her birthday.
On the pain scale of 1-10 I am still a 15. My fingers are still peeling, IBS is still torturing me, my back is hurting worse then usual, and the myriad of ailments is still persistent BUT God is still good, the sun is shining, Mylie is here next to me safe and sound, and I am alive. Couldn't ask for anything more... well, maybe some healin.'
My Yaye List:
-rediscovering old delights
-channel surfing with no guide (infomercials and tacky shows galore! What a study!)
-the heater blowing on my skin
-sunshine streaming through the blinds
-laying under the kitchen table with Aaron and Mylie (complete with stuffed animals and pillows)
-getting (from the library) the Wee sing dvd my brother and I used to watch over and over and sharing it's supreme coolness with Mylie. My dad bought this when we were young and it was my very favorite.
-spending time with Jesus
-alone time on the couch
-not going on the computer first thing
-a pantry full of food (Thanks Chris and Mary)
-ebt is active again
-my parents
-the greeting card from Theresa (I miss you so much!)
-Aaron. For everything.
-My Auntie's.
-re-reading the Alice books I read as a kid (remember those Monica?!)
-more holds at the library (Seriously people the library is the best place!)
-The Fibromyalgia Crusade and the Fun House on Facebook (www.chroniclesoffibro.blogspot.com)
It's a new day. I am going to start on sponsor letters soon and get to things on my list, but today...
well today the sun is calling, calling me.
;)
